Wednesday, October 26, 2011
no words can describe how i feel this past few days.
i'm furious, sad, betrayed and some other stuff all mixed together.
What the fuck went wrong?
I was just listening to the other party.
I was just saying that it was not convincing enough.
You don't need to put the blame on me.
This fucking little thing can't be the reason you mad at me till now.
It wasn't convincing! and made him worried sick. that's the reason he kept pestering.
it's between both of you why include the rest of us?
why are you still mad?
sad, the closest friend i had, see me with full hatred in his eyes.
all those harsh words hurts so bad. my heart sank, it felt like needles pricking it.
eyes filled with tears. no one ever knew.
I didn't mean any harm to anyone.
and now, I don't even know who are sincere.
those i'm close to i don't know if they still bothers.
if they could see this pain.
i've tried calling. but sadly, none made an effort,.
I don't fucking know what else to do to make all of these better.
I feel everything falling apart slowly.
dear friend, just so you know i miss you.
take care wherever you are.
If what you said was you're final decision. who am i to say anything?
I'll just back off then.
Monday, August 15, 2011
life has been treating me well so far.
its fasting month. that's shows how long i have not logged in to my blog.
still loving the same man. amin.
still schooling. ending soon. left with attachment.
how fast time flies.
i'm sure gonna miss those time in polytechnic.
but i'm just not ready for working life.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
I know I'm being a little bit selfish.
i guess i'm not being fair bout this.
and i'm sorry.
cause i only think of my feelings and how badly i want it.
never thought bout you and how badly you want it too.
i wish a lot everyday.
i wish i could make you happy.
i wish i was better than this.
i wish i could tell the whole world how much you mean to me.
i wish i could ..
i wish..
i wish..
i wish..
it gets to me real bad, when people thinks i'm the spoilt brat.
when they say i'm being mean to you.
it makes me feel do you deserve someone better than me?
or am i not good enough.?
since it's been ages since anyone go and read up my blog. i guess, nobody will ever know.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Hello! its been ages. no one even read my blog.
so why bother updating right?
tell me who does? bf? friends? i don't think so .
i think they think this blog extinct!
ok never mind.
i hate the fact that i'm slower by one year from my friends.
when they are already earning money, going overseas with other friends.
im here. still out of cash. n stuck in spore basically, when my friends have plans for trips.
i know, i agree school life is way better than working life.
i get it. i know. but can't i get money while studying.?
i just hate that fact. seriously,
and one more! what the fuck is difference between a man n a woman
ok i know, one have penis, the other dont. one have boobs the other dont. i know that!
like my mother will usually say when i home late " adik kau tu lelaki, kau tu perempuan"
and now, my bro act like a big fuck like tht since he can go out anytime he wants. like wtf! _|_
Monday, March 28, 2011
i miss the girls.
i just don't know if they miss me too .
=(
Sunday, March 27, 2011
when its beyond the limit.
if i could i would not want it to happen that way.
but i could not take it any longer.
i have feelings excuse me.
am i wrong to cry when i feel so helpless,
when i'm really furious?
if i could i would punch each one of you in the face.
but im helpless, and all i could do is cry.
do you think i wanted to cry in front of a person i barely know?
the one i thought to have my back.
and thats sad. coz i'm wrong.
i'm to blame.
im a girl, with feelings.
to have insulted a girl's appearance right in the face,
means you don't respect me. not a single bit.
if i could i would go home.
but i couldn't spoil the day could i.
so i just go on.
but no one knows how hurt it is.
its been long since i cried before dozing off to sleep
i'm sorry if i'm not pretty enough, fair enough for you.
Friday, March 4, 2011
i met the girls today .
it's been ages.
i had fun .
funny stories..
im just too lazy to update.
but i need to get home early .
and thats what i hate the most.
its been freaking long since i saw them
='(
any one knows how i feel right now?
coz every one is like saying.
your dad ask you to go home already . there's always some other time
but to have all of them there. it took years.
no one knows. oh wells.
so , i walk alone while going to ira's house.
and it got me thinking.